Affair and Infidelity
If you have discovered your partner engaging in an affair or infidelity, one of your first
questions might be “Should we break up right now, or should we try to make this work?” The
answer might be an easy YES to either question or perhaps it’s more complicated than that due
to a variety of reasons. Discoveries of affairs and infidelity can send individuals into intense
emotions such feeling betrayed, outraged, and confused. While there is not always a clear
answer to the lingering “WHY?” question, individuals and couples can seek counseling to
understand how to heal from these situations.
Why Might Someone Engage in Affairs and Infidelity?
The unfortunate truth to this question is it’s not so simple. Affairs and infidelity happen because
of so many different reasons such as lack of intimacy in a relationship, impairment of logical
thinking due to use of substances such as drugs or alcohol, sex addiction, avoidance of
problems in relationship, low self-esteem, depression, and many others. However, this doesn’t
mean that you or your partner are incapable of repairing the relationship.
Intimacy Communication and Miscommunication
Often, many couples don’t have “the boundary talk” where individuals in the couple define
what counts to them as infidelity or cheating or simply what they are OK and are NOT OK with
in a relationship. A lot of us “just assume” that something we wanted/didn’t want in a previous
relationship will automatically follow to the next relationship. Now, this is NOT an excuse for
someone to break a boundary. However, this is where communication becomes really
important, especially after a boundary has been broken.
What one person might count as cheating (such as emotional connections to someone else),
the other person may not see that as cheating. One person might also feel that certain things
are “dealbreakers” whereas another person might be more willing to forgive the circumstances.
These situations may include things such as a kiss with no other sexual contact following,
hookups, having a dating profile(s), watching pornography, going to adult entertainment clubs,
emotional attachments to someone else outside of the relationship, sending flirty or sexual
texts/images to someone outside of the relationship, or having more than one partner/being in
an open relationship.
How Counseling Can Help You/Your Relationship after Affair and Infidelity Discovery Counseling, whether done individually or as a couples therapy session, can help you heal from discoveries of affairs and infidelity. These sessions can help you to:
Explore your feelings from the situation(s) and what these mean about you or your relationship as a whole (sometimes we must grieve a relationship/individual for what we thought it was and understand what the reality is now)
Understand how the situation happened and learn preventative strategies for it to not occur in the future
Establish rules for yourself or with your partner on how to move forward in order to regain trust
Explore long-term existing problems that led to the infidelity (whether individually or as a couple)
Tips on Healing from Affairs and Infidelity
Advocate for Yourself to Your Partner – You have the right to express your feelings to your partner regarding how the situation made you feel/how the situation affected you. Try to approach this in a way less of attacking and more of stating how actions (whether of yourself or your partner) led to your proceeding reactions.
Lean on Your Support System – Its normal to feel alone when these discoveries happen, however, you do not have to face these situations alone. Whether or not you and your partner decide to engage in couple’s therapy, finding your own therapist and support system is extremely important. Confide in a trusted friend, family member, or confidant when needed can also help you process on your own time, especially if it’s outside of your therapy sessions.
Practice Self-Care – News/discoveries of affairs and infidelity can be devastating. It’s important that you listen to your body and what your body needs and continue engaging in self-care routines to keep you from slipping into your own thoughts of insecurity and sadness.
“Forgiveness is letting go of all hopes for a better past.” -Unknown
Remember, at the end of the day, it is YOURS and/or YOUR CHOICE AS A COUPLE to continue the relationship. Whether you and your partner are choosing to stay in the relationship or separate, support is needed and crucial in the process. Contact us at Miami Vibes Counseling Center to schedule an individual and/or couples therapy session today!
Begin Couples Therapy in Miami, FL
When you are ready to begin therapy, Miami Vibes Counseling Center is here for you. Our couples therapists can help you anywhere in the state of Florida with online therapy. We know that getting started in couples therapy or marriage counseling can be its own source of stress and worry, so we make it simple with these three steps!
Reach out to speak with a couples therapist.
Have your first appointment at Miami Vibes Counseling.
Start strengthening your relationship!
More Mental Health Services at Miami Vibes Counseling Center in Florida
At our therapy clinic, we want you to feel comfortable. We know you are a multi-faceted individual with a wide range of needs. This is why we have several ways to serve you. From in-person therapy in our chic, contemporary counseling space in Miami, FL to expert online counseling in Florida, we are ready to meet you where you are. Our professional Miami therapists offer treatment using a variety of approaches, including TFCBT, CBT, EMDR, and Brainspotting. These methods can help with anxiety treatment, depression treatment, Miami life transitions counseling, and stress relief. As well as, reproductive or parental mental health, children’s therapy, family therapy, and more. We truly look forward to meeting you and getting to know you!
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To get started, just follow the three steps below.